In late July 2013, Oprah went to Switzerland to attend Tina Turner’s wedding. She visited a high end boutique -Trois Pomme- and wanted to see a USD 38,000 Tom Ford crocodile handbag.
The shop assistant declined to show it to her since in her brilliant deduction, Oprah could not afford the handbag. Like she was trying to be Suze Orman; “Your request to buy this handbag is denied; you cannot afford it”.
She was basically doing Oprah a favor by saving her from having her house foreclosed.
Oprah thought the whole incident was racist but later the whole affair became messy and convoluted, so much so that Oprah even apologized for bringing up the issue.
As in they told her, “Of course it was not racist, how dare you even fathom it could be that? You are a deluded angry black woman who wants some media attention. “
Oprah is so nice. Really. I don’t know how she did that.
First, my best friend Viola and I fantasize about us getting some friends with serious money and imagined them buying us two tickets to fly first class on Emirates like that YouTube star who was upgraded to first class. Viola was like, “I will go get a refund, fly economy and our rich sponsor will never know.”
But I told her,”There is a shower.” Omg. I will probably never purchase a USD 38000 bag coz we already have a problem having someone else forking out USD 21000 for a flight.
Anyway, I wish I was Oprah on that day. She is a billionaire. If I was a billionaire (chances of that happening are slim to none) and went to any store in this universe and anyone thought, hinted or suggested I could not buy a handbag, or anything for that matter, I would pay money to keep them at home and never work anywhere again. And I would buy the manager who even tried to suggest I was deluded. “How much do you think it will cost to buy you, your wife and children?”
And if some media houses suggested I was high on cocaine so no way I would know if someone was racist, I would buy and shut them down. Then I’d buy Switzerland.
No wonder I am not a billionaire.
I would then have a cast of my body made and every store in the world would create a security system that was triggered every time I entered any establishment. Because I would be out to purchase companies and people.
Plus I would have really rich friends, so if my money run out I’d call them and say “I am trying to eradicate racism. Can you donate to my cause?”
I wanted to title this article The Day Oprah Could have Ended Racism but I wanted everyone to read this article. Black, white, Asian, everyone. But I know white people get uncomfortable with racism. And since my blog is new, I did not want them thinking I am an angry black woman who was a former black panther. I mean I want everyone to buy my books.
My best friend is white. That girl can make me laugh till I cry and gets me and my delusions. My ‘picking which people to hang out’ decisions are never based or swayed by skin color.
But really. To expect black people not to state there is racism.
To expect them not to have a problem with cops killing black men purely based on the fact of their skin color. To expect black people not to be angry at that. To think they are over reacting.
To not comment because it makes you uncomfortable. To not comment because it will never happen to you. Because it does not concern you.
And to think a black woman should not to talk about police shootings till kingdom come.
Excuse me, OUR lives are in danger here, coddling your “racism does not exist” mind and making you comfortable with our silence is not that important.
I explained this thing to Viola the other day, “It’s like me seeing you being raped by a white man and not talking about it because that white man has a history of raping only white women. “
And blaming you for the rape.
And scolding you for crying about it.
And wondering why you would be angry when the man got away scot free. For the 1000th time.
The thing is, the problem with racism is, it adversely affects black and white people.
Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us,
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others
How you say? Well, according to Marianne Williamson, we are all born with something extraordinary in us.
We ALL have something significant to do on this earth and our births are not some random events; with no rhyme or reason. We apparently have a Facebook in us. Imagine that. Or Nelson Mandela…take your pick. She says we ALL have these greatness within.
The problem is the minute you focus on something else and not focus on building yourself and extracting your gift for the world to enjoy, you are off track. This obsession with skin color is so stupid because we are all meant to coexist beautifully.
The minute you focus on skin color, you stop giving energy to your journey and stunt your development.
Like Rachel Dilley who had unprotected sex and contracted HIV because she thought “only people in Africa contact HIV.”
Yeah, she actually told people that in 2014. Hellur, any brain activity detected? Omg.
Then Justin Sacco tweeting, “I’m going to South Africa, hope I do not get AIDS.” A whole communications director. All the people who hired you and currently keep you employed are racist and stupid as well. Like if you had a company, and you asked Marcus Lemonis to come save it, he would not cut you a check. He would not even answer your calls.
As I said before if I have all people buy my books, I will inch closer and closer to fainting at the sight of Oprah. And really I am not taking color sides here. I like people doing a lot in their lives and if they happen to be white, so be it.
I also lived in the USA for 7 years and never dated a black American because I went on a few dates and felt like these guys thought they were dating down. You know coz I’m African and all. The best relationships I had were with 2 white American men (not at the same time). I don’t spend time explaining my worth to anyone and these guys treated me like a queen and always encouraged me to do more than I was doing. If a black American man feels a trophy wife comes in the shape of a blonde with blue eyes, more power to them.
I also basically hang out with people who are way smarter than me …..like Viola, so if you are black and Justin Sacco dumb, I will not hang out with you.
If I ever became Oprah 2.0, I would buy a few houses, a car that would never break down on the side of the road, buy a white chaffeur who is blond, blue eyed, ex SAS (that’s British Special Air Force….like the best Elite force in the world) who would drive me in the USA; coz no cop is killing me, buy all the clothes I want from Zara, buy a natural hair stylist, makeup artist and a few more things.
That’s it. After that all my money would be used to buy stores where the staff are racist. That’s all I would do all day. The day I became a billionaire would signal a whole chapter titled “If You See This Woman” in companies’ induction booklet for all employees’.
I would be on a crusade to make sure what happened to Oprah does not happen to any other black person. I live in Europe. These guys had zoos for people like me. Many act shocked that I can read and write, eons later.
So you were not hallucinating Oprah. Dunno why you even care what poor racists think about you.
I also can’t allow people to stay racist; it’s not good for them. It’s not good for their brain. I’m doing people a favor; go discover what Marriane Williamson means.
You focusing on my skin color and envisioning me growing up thirsty, hungry and running around with a pet elephant is making you as stupid as someone asking a bat for directions. Meanwhile I am crafting my plan to pull a Lupita. The best part is no one stands in my path coz everyone does not see how I could amount to anything. Cue the evil laughter.
(Just kidding, please subscribe to my email list!!)