Welcoming Jesus into your life is a usually innocent affair. Maybe it happened with the ambiance of a good message that offered a ray of life in your otherwise bleak life. Maybe the worship music also had something to do with it.
So you made the decision to give your life to Jesus. The pastor did say He is “a come as you are savior”.
However things start radically changing once you really fall in love with Him and the Holy Spirit abides in you.
All of a sudden, the things you used to desire don’t sound so appealing.
All of a sudden, you can’t participate in some conversations.
All of a sudden, you are sensitive to strong language and explicit sex on TV and movies. Shows you previously had no problem watching.
Something in you squirms and there is just a degree of discomfort you can’t shake off. You can’t ignore.
I mean you forgive people who you want God to exterminate by sending fire from the sky.
You become the bigger person and apologize. You are more interested in having peace and avoiding conflict. Being right does not matter so much.
You are becoming more like Jesus.
It happened to me.
I was a vindictive, mean person. I knew what to say to cut through your heart and probably spill some blood.
I am still a little fiery but it has been toned down. I let things slide. I allow people to think whatever they want to think of me and my journey.
Because God is my vindicator, He fights my battles and He will seat me at the head of the table in the presence of my enemies.
Even if my circumstances say “NO HOPE; COUNT HER OUT,” please don’t, the script will change so fast soon. Our heads will collectively spin like tops.
When I started this journey, I made God real. Then all these strange things started happening to me.
One thing I have learnt with this Christian walk is a person should not think their way is best and others have fallen short. Looking at other people and deciding you are a better Christian. I do not like ministers who claim to be called by God and who also criticize other people’s ministries. You are not God. Stop helping Him do His work. Stop assigning yourself a role in heaven. The person responsible for deciding who made the cut or not. It is not your work.
Your way is not the way everyone should follow just because it worked for you.
I struggled at some point at looking at other Christians who were in a different part of the journey. Christians who were so immature whereas I was eating solid food. But God loves all of us. He does not love me with all my “I don’t really want to club and drink now” more than the person who does.
Isn’t Gods love incredible?
I read the book of Jonah on the Message Bible and that is a dramatic chap. This guy finally gets to Nineveh to warn the people of the doom and destruction coming their way, after all his shenanigans’ at sea and IN a whale.
Lo and behold, God feels sorry for the people of Nineveh and decides to forgive them. Jonah then goes into a sulking fit. He is upset because he knew this would happen, that Gods nature would take over. Can you believe him? Like he sat down under some tree sulking at God. But then God lovingly handles Jonah’s temper tantrum and even shades him from the glaring sun.
I think we can’t really comprehend Gods love for us. If we were God, we would all be doomed.
One thing that God convicted me about is sex before marriage. I have been celibate for a year now. In an article I wrote, I was like a pregnant pastor out of wedlock was in the wrong. I feel so bad about that because no one has walked in her shoes and really her relationship with God is her business.
Moving on swiftly.
In the last couple of years the phenomenon of 50 Shades of Grey consumed most parts of society. It was first a book and the movie was released in 2015. On February 9th 50 Shades Darker (the movie) will be released.
As earlier mentioned, God convicted me about having sex with men who have not earned those privileges yet. Plus my Achilles heel is men. So this whole 50 Shades of Grey just passed me and I’ve paid no attention to it.
I just imagined Jesus eating popcorn and watching that movie with me and I could not do it.
I mean I can’t even watch “How to Get Away with Murder.” I think I saw a season of “Scandal”. I could not sit through “Being Mary Jane”.
That is my story. It is not a superior story, it is just my story.
By all means make up your own. In Philippians 2:12 ESV Paul says…so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling.
What I’ve learned about Christianity is that these are just not a bunch of rules you have to adhere to.
When you deconstruct them they are good for you.
“What is this man doing to deserve my body anyway?”
When you have an activity that becomes an addiction….like smoking turns out to be bad for your health and your finances.
Thinking about sex all the time is unhealthy. Devon Franklin always attributes his focus and success in his career to being celibate for many yeazrs. Sex is a time consuming activity. Thinking about it or doing it with people who will rip your heart apart and frankly don’t deserve you.
So as I ponder about Shades of Darker, there is really nothing to think about.
I am a time management nazi nowadays. Spending 2 hours watching a movie that will arouse all kinds of feelings in me is not happening. When I’m I going to write, gym, plan my biggest date ever in March, cook, …I am not watching that movie. On top of everything else, I added a 6 week course in Swedish no less, to figure out all the stuff I need to start a business. I got this idea in December and it has taken a life of its own. I seem to be allergic to the word “comfort zone”.
But that is just me. You do you.